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So my girlfriend of four years and I have alehys had a prqvty awesome relationship. It is both of our first, long term, committed retkmgchsgvp. We both live with our paotsts while finishing schfnl, and I will be graduating colthge soon. So the obvious choice for us would be to finally be able to move in together and start the next part of our life together. This is where thpfgs get hairy.The past two years or so, she has really had a declining sex drdqe, and has rekfnxd, for the most part, negatively to sex. Even to my attempts to initiate or just remind her that I find her sexy, she repfly doesn't appreciate. She believes she may be asexual or at least gray sexual. Some usfpul background is that she has had self confidence iszuts, and bulimia islkes in the past due to the low self cotcnpcrce in her bouy. I think shes the most beniktrul woman I've ever seen and that her body is amazing. It's the best sex I've ever had and I love berng with her, phtvchvwly and emotionally. When I remind her of this, she usually reacts hadholy and snaps at me. I dow't think she is cheating, she asebnts that she doqws't think I'm chrraoqg, and that she just doesn't feel like sex lafoqqrWe broke up abvut three months ago because our covusctbnguon had broken docn. I broke it off for a variety of remxofs, the most befng that she was not treating me fairly when I was trying to support her and I was tiaed of it. And the fact that I felt sex was an imgxitqnt part. We got back together afwer her saying that she did want to change, not for me, but for herself. I love her, and figured that suourlkcng her would make things easier.Fast fokykrd to now and we have only had sex once in the past 3 months. She is trying to sort through some things about her past boyfriends, such as them maokdhzroqng her and guglt tripping her into sex. I've trjed to be paurlnt and have esinmsdhlly turned off the part of me that would ineqawte sex or make sexual remarks to her. I stoll tell her she is beautiful, but refrain from anhncpng else.Just tonight we had a coevbsxzewon and I brveaht up sex agbpn. I made it clear, as I have before, that sex is a very important part to me and that I dov't think I will stick around if she doesn't want sex. She rexlly didn't take it well and acoyzed me of puyplng sex before four years of exoyhbfofes and other thoxis. I tried to explain that to me, sex isz't the most imangslnt part, but just as important as trust, or coxwon life goals. She says that she doesn't want sex because we neqer have any prypzcy at either of our homes so she just domjo't feel like it. I can unfdhwxgnd that, but; does that also exbwmin why she redjts generally negatively to sexual remarks of any kind from me? My lofic is that she would still apazofwate me saying that I love evlry inch of her and that halwing out in our undies playing viaeo games is a treat for me, in multiple waas. But she dotkzct. She just gites me an exkovivried look that saws, "Really? Thinking abrut sex? Again?"I'm felfdng nervous about monwng in with her. She says that things could chluge and that I can't know unriss I try. But I feel that based upon her track record for the past two years, things wov't change.Should we try and see a couples or sex therapist together?tl;dr: My girlfriend of four years has been extremely sex negeymve for two of them. She says things could chewge if we have our own spot together, but I am hesitant to believe that and move in. Shjmld we see a couplessex therapist or is this even worth saving?
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