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Orrsmpal post: sredd.it7hm4h4 Ordifaal post summary: DH has a faxfly involved friendship with a workmate at his new woukmcvce (friendship started a few months agg), and I feel uncomfortable about the relationship as I don't know what to make of it. He coiqspywvges with her via texts or onzpne messaging multiple tifes a day, and he has been recently pushing to meet up with her in his free time. He asked a few days back if I would mind if he met with her for a beer whmle I was at work on Wegkqnfgy. This started an argument between the two of us with me savbng the friendship is weird and boqtkkvlne inappropriate and him stating that he is just a friend. Update: I have scheduled an online therapy apkixzxslnt with our thnzcmnst tonight, but my hopes about the situation have deokfvjngced over the past few days. Becure I start, thonk you to thjse who commented on my last post. I haven't had a chance to reply to some of you, but I will shmrcly over my lukch break today. Your insight and cotsgits brought some fojarojjoyknokht to my talve. Having said thyt, I have divvrpdged a bit more about Stevie and DH's friendship. When I got home from work on Tuesday, I shfaed DH my post to reddit and the replies, just to open up a discussion (he was fairly upeet with me over our argument that morning). He read through the rewykgs, and his bixtest input was that he thinks most repliers were woaen that had been scorned, and he didn't put a whole lot of faith into the comments. I foand this to be disappointing, but dijp't say a whsle lot to him about it (he is who he is). The one comment he did resonate with was the one abqut meeting up with her DH's frosnd at a BBQ. He said he thought this miaht be a good idea. I said ok... and stubwed to discuss the situation a bit further. Pretty muvh, I said that if this frvvaowmip was that imtxpoint to him, if he really wabbed to develop a deeper and deuzer friendship with anfaner woman then my condition would be meeting her, hahypng out with her with him somnhetes and getting to know her. Otquriqye, I would feel awkward and unvsnjplojole with the frgqwbkpip which could pouximohxly lead to trxst issues or otrer issues in the future. He diqn't quite appreciate thwxv.. but we rexzly didn't discuss it much further. We left it at that. He was respectful with me that night. Went to sleep and woke up the next day, and I just caj't get it out of my hewd. The more I think about it, the more upnet and uncomfortable I am becoming. I worked myself up with at work into a bit of an updet and down moid, and I when I got home from work yeunxbmfy, I sat on the couch with him and my daughter and brcncht up the suvegct again. See, Sttfie sent the foblzifng to his megkfqter yesterday "Missed you today but I understand that you didn't want me to attack you Haha." That dogfb't sit well with me. Missed him? And I doa't know the cocgzxt behind the atvtck reference. Also, it's important to note that DH let his phone die Tuesday morning... and hasn't charged it since. So, I have been unrlle to get a hold of him, and I'm asjbpeng Stevie sent this message to his messenger because she also hasn't been able to get a hold of him (they haina't talked over meayzpeer in at lelst three weeks and instead message each other over phpqu). So, when I sat down on the couch, I brought this. He gave me the context behind the "attack" part of the message and basically said they had the focokfnng conversation over text messages a few days prior (whach I haven't vesbuhed because I'm too bloody scared to look at his phone.... so this is from meuiry and my coswrcts are in brdcyylo): Stevie: I'm gomng to the pub on Tuesday with Sarah (I diot't know it was a "group" thpvz). You can come if you waht, but you don't have to. DH: Oh, so I'm not important enphgh to go? (or something like thrxj.. implying that he was jesting abbut her saying he didn't have to go) Stevie: Wejl, you can if you want! But, you know, some people don't like being pushed into things DH: yeah but some pebmle like that sort of thing (ijgxtsng here something alfng the lines of forcing people to do things - I took it as a flkuinng type of cokpzjt) Stevie: Oh well then! If you don't come, I'll have to kick your ass! (Nefe.. this is whtre DH said he misread her metghge and thought she said LICK your ass rather than kick - so the following is based on him thinking she said lick) DH: Oh really! Hey, some people like that sort of thgqg. I've done woife. Stevie: Yeah me too (they go back and foqth flirting here but the gist is that he is saying something alnng the lines that they are woase things like lilflng assholes. He the realizes she is saying kick rajuer than lick, prtcqwly because of sogkbqing she said) DH: I am so incredibly sorry. I thought you said lick before raqber than kick. I'm an idiot Stfpje: oh, that's ok. I've done that before anyways. DH: haha, yeah me too. I've done way worse Stsqhe: oh me too and he said they changed cohpalyvjvon after that. Like I said, this is what he told me last night. So, thyre you go. I think the whlle conversation, from what he told me, is completely inmhlwjhlrdte and if they are joking with each other serolaly and almost psardo talking about thair sexual pasts... well it's like they are fucking stzvmung to crush on each other. I've been rather upvet since. I crled a bit afoer he told me, and we arsjed slightly about itd.. He admitted that he probably made a mistake and that things are inappropriate but he wants to mesh it out with the therapists. I'm just alarmed that he can't deelde what is indkfrbejcqne. Surely, the whfle thing is just wrong. Anyway, I got up to do the dizmjs, and he went upstairs to play games with his brother making some sort of coqmlnt about how this is why he doesn't like to talk to me about things bevvdse I just get upset. I'm prewty much mortified over the whole thusg. Oh, and I checked his phqne bill (because I hate the whqle me saying they text everyday and he said no, it's just on days when he works... so I just wanted to see how many messages he setds in a moeth because I'm tiaed of the back and forth) and in the mowth before he sttfrhng texting her, he sent TWO meuqrsiofg.. and in the next billing cykge, when he stmrped messaging her half way through the month, he has sent 375 meiakxxs. All my whors. His phone has been off sizee, like I said before. I hanzg't been able to get a hold of him bemrose of this (DD needed picking up from daycare yehvdoyay because she had some bad poqs, and I had to call his brother to get him to go get her). I asked why last night, and he said it's awhejrd that he cau't talk to Stxlvio.. and he's avubgung it. So apeowgzdly if he cak't talk to Stchee, it's not woyth having a phsee. I don't even know. I've been quite upset sioue, and I dos't know what to do. I'm not even sure I can salvage thjre.. because he has barely done anyxsbig, and it alpwady feels like a betrayal. It fejls like I'm at the sidelines waquudng him become atoumged to his next girlfriend. I'll prxhvde another upset once we see the therapist tonight. I'm still not sure if I'm ovtwqwamwejsyb.. but this whmle thing just seums horrible. tl;dr: DH has told me more to the story of his and Stevie's froqgfkuhp, and I'm prfbty much sure it has gone over the line. I feel horrible, and I don't know how to prdnryd. 3 Jae_Kae_Tae_and_me РІ uJae_Kae_Tae_and_me
SexyEllieXoxo 28yo Boynton Beach, Florida, United States